The first time I saw Eric I was walking into work, as I walked behind the
customer service counter I hear, "Shut the H--- up you F---ing homo!" (I
work around lovely, understanding open minded people) Word about Eric had
spread fast, and I had already heard about the "flaming gay guy" before his
first day of work. No one had to ask to know that he was gay, and to keep in
line with company policy, no one did. I couldn't have cared less if he
was gay or not. Eric took every opportunity to strike up a conversation. He
made a comment about NPR as I was listing to The Morning Edition on evening
and it came as a relief, someone else who listened to NPR that I could carry
a conversation with. At time it seemed like he would go out of his way to
talk to me, so when I found out that I was referred to by him has "The hot
guy in support" I wasn't surprised. He later told me this when we had
returned to Alaska from Afghanistan.
While in Afghan Land we had worked together a little bit, and he also had
gotten me into a gossip trio that was sure to know everything that was going
on at Bagram while we were there. I wasn't passing this up as I like stories
just as much as the next hen. He left Afghanistan early after stresses had
taken a toll on Eric and it was becoming clear that his Military career was
coming to an end.
Towards Eric's last days I asked him is he would do an interview for the
website, and he was open to the Idea. Several months later, and I do mean
several, I've finally gotten this put together for ya'll to read.
Well Eric, I’m just gonna
jump right into this, When did you first question your sexuality, and what
was like that for you?
A: Ever since I was young I saw more of an attraction
to males rather than to females. Not so much on the sexual side but more
of an emotional attachment. I saw females more a close companions. It
still remains the same today only more “graphic” I guess you could say, now
that I have gone through puberty, and know what my body wants and is
sexually attracted to.
When did you realize that
you were gonna be different from most men? That the attraction that you
have isn't the common one, and that this could make you an outcast.
A: I realized at young age. When I got made fun of
when I didn’t want to play sports, and would rather go nance around with
girls or when people called me a girl. I knew that I would never meet the
“man’s man” standards.
How did your family react
when you came out to them if you have chosen to do so? Did they react the
way you thought they would?
A: It was actually a total opposite. I figured my dad
would go off the handle and my mother would be more like “ oh I
understand, maybe you will grow out of it.” My dad simply said, I don’t
care. Me mum on the other hand, literally threw the bible at me, calling
me an abomination. I just said okay… well if that is the case, I was
created to go straight to hell.
What is your relationship
like now with your parents?
A: My dad is a complete turn around. I saw him for
the first time, since I left for AK, and he is completely different. He
realized how mean he used to treat me. My mom and I are closer than ever. We can
talk about it and joke around about it, as long as I don’t get too graphic
with her.
What led up to your decision
to join the military?
A: My dad. He basically said, if I don’t have a place
to go, with a job, or enlisted in the military, by your 18th birthday, and
if you ABSOLUTELY have to stay here, I am going to charge you (I forget
the amount, but it was outrageous).
What concerns did you have
about how your sexuality would come into play once you were in the
military? Did you feel like you would be more accepted or that it would be
easier in the Air Force?
A: I joined the AF, because I knew that I could not
be in the army or marines, too physically demanding. The Navy recruiters
pissed me off to bad, and my AF recruiter, was up front and honest with
me, and was down to earth and not trying to get a bonus out of it. He said
that if I really wanted to join, I would be bugging him, and not him
bugging me. Once I was in the Air Force, not a day went by, that I didn’t
think, how long until I get into trouble. It was really strong in Basic
Training, and not so much in Tech School, for I spent all of my free time
off base. Then when I got to Eielson, and saw that I actually got “some
privacy” I didn’t really care as much. But about 8 months before I was
separated, I didn’t care one way or the other, what happened to me, if I
stay or if I went.
I remember the first
impression you made upon me when I first met you, I admit that I thought
you might be gay from that moment on. Do you feel that people in your high
school thought you were gay? If so how did that make things for you in
school, and how did you deal with that?
A: Everyone thought I was gay, but nobody cared,
except for that narrow minded people that felt it necessary to tease me.
But...from what I hear, some of them turned out to be
gay.
Now, I believe that you
weren’t the only gay service member in your squadron. What type of gay and
lesbian community do you think there was at Eielson AFB? Having peers that
were like you, did that make things easier for you at times?
A: If I knew them, or rather knew they were gay, it
made it easier. It was someone I could relate to and talk to, that is if
they didn’t step straight out of the soap opera and like to cause
problems.
If you had to guess how many
people do you think are gay or lesbian at Eielson?
A: Well I believe there were a lot, but because the
Office of Special Investigation [OSI1] and what not had nothing
better to do than pry into peoples lives, I think they were all closet
cases.
You deployed with the
squadron in the summer of 2004 to Afghanistan. What was that experience
like?
A: It was the best, worst time of my life. I made
life long friends, I got to go around the world, and meet all kinds of
people. Because of my job, I actually helped fight the war. I became
closer, with some people over there, than I ever thought I would. Then
on the flip side, that is where everything hit the fan. The last 2 months,
Combat Stress and all the shrinks, had me on SO many medications, that I
don’t remember too much. All I know is that that trip was the down fall to
my Air Force career.
What happened in
Afghanistan?
A: Well, In May I had a suicide attempted. That’s what I got my LOR
[Letter of Reprimand2] for, and
started being watched closely. Then after my privacy was invaded, and
pornography was discovered, I went off the deep end, and was watched like
a hawk. Most of it was because I felt like a caged bird.
Do you feel like you were
treated equally while you were enlisted? Do you think that gay men are
singled out more than lesbian women are in your squadron?
A: I think I was treated equal, and then some.
Because the higher ups, all seemed to have a good idea that I was gay,
they never did anything to step on my toes, for fear (I think) that I
would not march my happy butt to MEO [Military Equal Opportunity3], or the ADC
[Area Defense Counsel4]. Well except for my
supervisor, which I told him, I said go ahead and keep talking like you
are, you will find MEO at you door step, and your sleeve with one less
stripe.5
What kind of support did you have from friends
while you were in Alaska?
A: All of my friends that were civilian thought I was stupid for joining
and having to hide who I am, but when I went to Afghanistan, they all
supported me. My Air Force friends, I really didn’t have too many until I
got to Afghanistan, I became REALLY close with some of my flight
mates, people who I never want to loose touch with. I became friends with
people in my Squadron, I never thought I would. I made friends with people
I never even met, the Fairy Godmother Brigade.
Do
you feel that they understood what you were going through?
A: Well
whether they understood or not, they were there for me to talk to and they
listened. They never said if they understood, but they listened, and that
is what I needed, someone to vent to.
Were you trying to make any type of statement by
enlisting in the military, if so was anyone listing?
A: To start out no, I was just trying to survive. But then over time, I
thought let me see how much I can get away with, and try to be a gay
rights activist. When I was in Afghanistan, I pulled the Secretary of the
Air Force [SECAF6] to the side, and had a good 15 minute conversation with
him, and told him I think that the “Don’t ask, Don’t tell” policy was
stupid. And I didn’t hide anything, I didn’t come out and tell him I was
gay, but I made him know that I was gay. One thing I did learn though, I
am not afraid to stand up in someone’s face and fight for what I believe
in. I did it with the SECAF, Lt. Col’s, among other officers, 1st
sergeants, and plenty of enlisted people. And I will still fight for what
I believe in and I will fight to the death for those I love. ( I love you
Franci)
How do you look back on your
service in the Air Force?
A: I miss it. Not a day goes by that I wish I could
be back in to some extent. I miss my job, and my flight mates...I really miss the friends I made when
I was in the desert, people I had know since Basic. I miss the military,
but I don’t miss a lot of the rules.
In the past election, Gay
marriage turned out to be a huge issue. The president at one time called
for a constitutional amendment, some states have amended their
constitution, Louisiana the most recent This could have been the larger of
the domestic issues that brought people to the polls, and it would affect
the least amount of people. Gay rights, whether it be, ensuring them, or
taking them away, are on peoples minds. Can you give me examples of how
you may have felt that you were kept from doing things because you were
gay? What do you look forward to in the future as far as gay rights as a
whole are concerned?
A: Well this subject just pisses me the hell off. I
mean, they say it is wrong, morally, and blah blah blah. Where are they
getting this from. The Bible. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO SEPARATION OF
CHURCH AND STATE!?!?!? And where is the freedom of speech. I cant say I
love you to the person I want to spend the rest of my life with even
though we are both men. And if the government is so hell bent of running
the government from Christian beliefs, what happened to the Christian
Gods, OWN LAW of free will???!?!?! And on top of that, not every American
is Christian. I am Pagan, and Paganism does not look down on
Homosexuality.
I understand that this is a
strong subject for you, I agree with you that it is unfair to push
Christian morals upon all American citizens, but you forgot to answer the
question.
A: Okay lets see if I can answer this for you. It
felt like a slap in the face. It is like oh here are your freedoms, but you
cant exercise them, like they were dangling them in front of me. I want
them to legalize gay marriages, and just be done with it. I mean the
government didn’t want to stop segregation, but did, and what harm came
from it. NONE. So what harm is going to come from this?
How is life now that you are out of the
military?
A: Life is going well, but I miss it A LOT. Well maybe not the rules
and regulation, but the people, the job, doing things, that I will NEVER
again be able to do. It depresses me SO much when I think about all the
time and effort I put into it to be the best and accepted, so I could
succeed? And for what? So a ram-rod and discharge me because I am a homo,
but blame it on something I already got punished for. UM HELLO DOUBLE
JEOPARDY?!?!?!
But life is going well, I am a Slot Operations Supervisor at the casino I
work at and it is a lot of fun.
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