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Kenny what is on the "other side"? What was it
like getting some one like me over to the other side?
The "other side" is a paraphrase for a different outlook on certain
things. Things like music, clothing (god knows he needed
that), dancing......., Yeah dancing. How 'bout that one?
Pulling teeth from a hen would be and understatement.
We actually made Caleb say: "I wanna be on the other side". That
was all we, myself and Carter needed. |
We then went on like a 6 month training
mission; prepping Caleb. We did everything from teaching him a little
rhythm, to hours upon hours in the Mall. Mainly concentrating on stores
like Express formerly know as Structure...all rights reserved. The guy did wear an
obscene amount of corduroy. I actually think at one point in his life,
he didn’t own a pair of non-corduroy pants. Didn’t get me wrong, I like
the style but with Caleb, moderate and corduroy was like oil & water
-
they didn’t mix. Those pants were sooo
comfortable. I stand to this day that Corduroy is the Man’s Velvet.
When it came to attire, Caleb didn't even wear jeans when we met him.
I mean he couldn't fathom wearing a pair of brand new jeans that looked
like they had been used. But he reluctantly came over to the other side. Now he still
knows where he comes from, he's just better prepared now to communicate
with a broader spectrum of people.
Part of that could have been my fault; I didn’t wear jeans either for a
long time. Then, a girlfriend of mine coaxed me into them. The next
time, I saw Caleb he was giving me hell about them, “I can’t
believe YOU of all people…” and so on, really riding me about it. Then
the next time I saw him, he too had caved. It truly was the end of an
era. It was the low rise, boot cut
that did it for me.. This was the
cut that did all us nay-sayers in.
Peter what do you know
about the ‘other side’, and do you think that you are a part of this?
I think I’ve always
come from another perspective than those around me, so in that sense,
yeah , I can relate to the other side. But I don’t know if I qualify for
proper entrance, sad to say, I haven’t completed my training. Teach me
the ways, oh Kenny and Carter.
How much influence, have the two of you had on
my life?
I can't say for Peter;
but for me, I just hope I have just come close to a morsel of the
influence you've had on me. Peter is a great friend as am I , but you're
the diamond in the rough. You're the man with the great ideas and vision
outside of the norm. Kenny’s right,
I think that’s why I kept talking to you in high school b/c you’ve
always had your own outlook on things. I think where Kenny and I have
had the most influence on you is in your sense of humor and the way you
talk. I don’t know how many catch phrases you would drop on people that
were mine. But I always enjoyed it. I think by going to Campus Life in
HS, we learned how to have a great time without the negative stuff. Now
I can’t remember if you started going to Campus Life b/c of me or the
girls but hey, it seemed to work. In
high school, every thing we do is because of girls…wait that applies to
everything.
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What are my bad habits?
I had to say your shyness
towards the opposite sex. You have been able to open up a little more,
that's cool. Also your willingness to help people is great. You're no
Kenny as far as helping people to the point of self-mutilation like
other.
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I can’t speak for your
Jeep in Alaska but one specific timeframe comes to mind. At this point
in his life, Caleb has yet to decide to work for the man (our beloved
government) so he bides his time by delivering pizzas for Domino’s. So,
basically he spends most of his day in his car sipping on sodas and
pounding Little Debbie pocket-sized delights. At some point he decides
it would be a grand idea to see how much trash he can accumulate on the
floorboard of his passenger seat; tossing aside any threat of insectual
infestation.. As the months go by, I call him up to hang out since I’m
in town for the weekend. He picks me up and as I open the door to get
in and you could sense the nose of every vermin within a 2-mile radius
hone in on the Accord’s location as if all their dreams had come true.
I’m greeted with a two-foot high pile of plastic bottles, wrappers,
pizza boxes, papers and soda cans slipping over unto my sneakers. Now,
I’m probably one of the messiest people Caleb knows, on my good days I
make the aftermath of a hurricane look like Martha Stewart’s linen
closet. But this mobile heap of health code violations was enough to
make me re-evaluate my own worldview. I was thinking, “Man, at least
starving kid’s in Africa don’t have to deal with this!”. Caleb laughs
at my reaction and explains himself. After we arrive at our destination,
I remove my knees from my chest since my legroom has been foregone for
Caleb’s clear violation of our natural laws. I exit with a much needed
breath of fresh air. Eventually, we emptied the floorboard in a vacant
parking lot, as the car was rolling, leaving a stretch of consumed
refuse for varmints to rummage through to their fatten guts’ delight.
For the record, all bottles had their
original caps, and no actual mold was growing. The Jeep is only victim
to a little mud, as I actually paid a bit more for that.
Oh &…You’re teribel
speling and grammer…I can’t fault you for it, though, you were allergic
to spelling bees as I understand it.
What do I hate about myself?
I can't say, now I'm
starting to feel like boo cause I feel I don't know you like I should.
But if I had to say I'd probably saw your ability to obtain an
outrageous amount of self debt.
You’d think he’d love it b/c he just keeps coming back. I'm just
a victim of marketing ok, I wouldn't be spending so much money on
clothes and such had not Kenny and Donald brought me to the "other side"
I can't take blame for this.
I’ve never known you
to be self-loathing. Generally,
it’s your situation at any given time.
Probably
your fatal flaw is getting the right kind of person to start a
relationship with you. Kenny calls it a bad habit. I say you just go
after the wrong kind of woman and that rejection causes you to think
it’s about your actions or something you did.
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Who do I most admire or look up too?
Me ha ha . Maybe your mom on the serious note.
She has held down the family like crazy glue. She's wonderful. That's
why we all love her, even though the word nigga flies out of her mouth every time I bring up someone from Pope to
visit when you're in town?
The
National Champion starting five, not for their basketball skills, b/c we
know your skills on the court are piss-poor at best. But b/c they are at
UNC coasting their way into money. Does that count? It seems more like a
question YOU should answer. I’m not terribly sure. I really don’t know.
Perhaps
this is a trick question, cause now that you pose the question to me, I
don’t know that there is an answer, but I think that the closest thing
to the truth would be… Zoolander!
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This Isn't Kenny, this is Rashad McCants
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When was I most afraid?
When you saw my huge
pectorals. Yeah that's it. I really can't say ......, perhaps when you
"saw things that weren't really there." Allow me to elaborate . Well one
Sunday evening having over stayed our time , we (Caleb and myself) were
en-route back home to Fayetteville. Well driving was left to Caleb cause I had to
work that night on midshift. Entrusting Caleb with my life I
decided it would be best if I was able to get just a few minutes of rest
before my tiring night on the flightline. About 25 minutes out from
final destination. I was awaken by a violent swerve with in the car. I
woke up and looked behind me to see what was so large that almost caused
the death of Caleb and myself, but I didn't see anything. Caleb didn't make contact with me,
his face stay studied on the road as if this was a final exam
in high school algebra class. I then proposed the question: "What was
that all about?" . He still refused me eye contact, hands @ the 10
and 2
position. He then responded in a shaken but not scared anymore voice.
"Sometimes we see things that aren't really there". I was startled but I
had to ask what it was exactly that he thought he saw. He kept his eyes
on the road. But responded as if in a spell. He said "I thought I saw
a truck with the bed and garbage barrels violently tumbling down the
road. Funny but true. I saw a bed
liner for a pick up truck tumbling toward me, might I mention that it
isn’t a good idea to drive at night while sleepy, I think I was asleep
for some of that drive.
The story that comes
to my mind involves CDs in Las Vegas, but I wasn’t there. So all the
details would best be handled but someone that was. I believe the
saying goes... “What happens in
Vegas…”
Who has hurt me the most, this isn't limited to
women in my life?
I have to say
Michelle.
She was really crazy, playing with peoples emotions. And it's not the
fact of actually only hurting you emotionally if the fact of the
potential of what she could've done. Allow me to elaborate. She invited
us to a party. Cool but failed to mention that it was a party by hosted
by Dukes offensive line. Well we just came from the UNC vs. East
Carolina game. We were well in the Carolina Blue thins when we showed
up. Needless to say they all had issues with us. Even the place kicker
was bigger then me. Well long story short. They were very hostile until
we took of our garments. If I remember right, we made some money
after that. You obviously don't remember right,
Chewbacca.
Michelle did make some bad choices & your emotions got tossed in the
mix. If I had known exactly what she was capable of I would have said a
little more on the matter. She was the type of person that just would
drag the pain out.
I know someone who put
a-hurtin’ on your credit but I won’t speak ill of the dead.
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Damage
Control: It should be noted that
these comments were written about someone from Caleb’s past and any
namesake’s in his life now should not be offended. Also, after reviewing
this, Caleb thought the answer was too revealing to the above mentioned
person. I suggested replacing the actual name with a fake name.
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When was I most in love?
When you first saw Jocelyn. No I kid I kid. I better be kidding. You'd have to tell me cause I don't know. I feel
like crap now. Thank for that one Caleb.
I’ve
never really met “Caleb-in-love”, I’ve many other “Calebs” – but most of
those “Calebs” are not the kind you would find in love - on a backroad
driving over the legal limit, maybe, but not in love. A question like
this makes me ponder cynically: “How far off is love from desperation”?
Because I feel we’ve both seen a little of both in our time. Way
to make the ex’s feel special guys, thanks.
What do I enjoy most about life?
Now it would have to be going to the store to
pick up you very talent inclusive photographs. Or putting on Barth and
standing over a AC vent. Kenny named the green robe that I wore
at every opportunity in and outdoors, Barth. He also complained that the
A/C in my room was set to deep-freeze. As
long as I’ve known you just enjoy sitting back, having a bunch of laughs
and talking to people. My experience has been that you’re at your best
when you can talk about a slew of things like politics, your religious
beliefs and the stupid stuff we’d always find ourselves caught up in.
In the movie version of my life, which will be
the summer blockbuster in 2056, who will play me? You?
That guy who was in the movie "The Lost Boys". There were a few, thanks for
clearing that up. I hope you aren’t talking about Cory Feldman.
Cory Feldman sounds like a strong
candidate. I hate you guys.
In high school, girls
used to always go up to you to chat you up over me (Embittered Sidebar: Caleb never fails to
mention that fact to me when we go out.),
soooo it would have to be someone more attractive than Jason Biggs.
There you go, anyone who is more attractive than a guy who masturbates
with pies.
The only time I remember a
girl approaching me over you was at the movies and turns out she was an
total moron, known across the Guilford County School System for her
sharp wit and reading skills. “Is it Cupboard, or Cup Board?” Only she
can tell.
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What cartoon character would I be? Why?
Daffy duck. He can't seem to win @ his very
devious plans to take over the world. But someday you will. Bobby Hill, ‘cause you always seem to do
whatever you want to, even if people are going to say: “that boy ain’t
right” & you’re from a little town in the south. Both
characters are on TV Guides top 50 Cartoon Characters of all time.
Sadly, The Powerpuff Girls and SpongeBob out rank both of me.
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What is my super power?
Your ability to capture life in a split second
you. The only photographer who was better was Peter Parker. I could
never fathom how he was able to get good pictures of that Spiderman
character. Okay that was lame but look @ the other answers they were
cool. I dunno, you’re part Native
American, so that means that you have a gift.
Cute Peter, you realize
that when my mom reads this, if she ever does, you will be getting a
SMACK on the head. This would have
never happened if you had not copy and pasted these questions from an
email forward that crowded all our inboxes about 4 years ago.
Four years ago? That was about the time I
first gave these questions to you, eh, Peter.
What would I change in my life right now? Location location location.
(It should be noted that when I first
received this interview over a year ago, this might have been true, but
b/c I just held onto it – it might not still apply. My bad. –peter)
Perhaps, the lack of a
steady girlfriend or at least spooning buddy. Probably more true these
days is a job after the government is done with you.
How do I interact with my family?
Just like any other little mamas boy would.
Much like me. mmm-K Peter maybe you
can actually answer this.
There’s several things that can be said for Caleb’s mother but foremost
is that she loves her son. He really does brighten up her life. As
long as I’ve known Caleb, he’s always loved his family. He has always
tried his hardest to do his best to help his brothers and sister out.
As far as interact, it’s hard to say.
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I'm king for a day, what is my first decree?
Renounce your kingdom to ME. Then I'd free all
the little people.
I’ve been in this
scenario before with Caleb on Bourbon Street in New Orleans. He bought
an overstuffed, golden crown from a vendor, who ripped him off, and
proceeded to walk around like a King for the rest of the night. The
novelty, as I recall, lasted for a day. However in his short-lived
rule, King Caleb gave many decrees that night, most involving young
she-pheasants exposing themselves for the greater good of the land.
Yes, I have seen Caleb crowned with power and his tit-for-tat-style
monarchy was a beautiful thing. That was a long time ago, in a
land far far away.
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If I'm running through the African Savannah,
behind me is a hungry lion, before me is a lake full of deadly fish,
what do I do? You would execute your best
Walter Payton move to evade an emanate death. Seeing how your not
mechanically inclined to do so, you'd probably attempt it then trip and
fall face first in the lake with you butt sticking out of the water. No
you'd probably tell the lion to hold on a minute cause you have an
important phone call. It would be me of course.
(1) You would remain
calm as you soiled your pants. (2) Then you would attempt to take a
series of pictures using up an entire roll of film on one shot in an
effort to get one using the right aperture and light….(3) later you’d
complain about how those were you favorite pair of pants. But all would
be remedied as you bought some more. (4) The one good picture you would
frame and Donald would hate on.
What question were you hoping you would get to
answer? And what is the answer. If you
were going to admit that you had issues. And if so what are they. Well I
would've responded. Yes. Then went on to say that there's not enough
memory in this Government computer to respond correctly. This isn’t so much a
question for you, as a response to the question that has been plaguing
me for the last year, “when am I going to get those interview
responses?” It should be said, I operate on “Robichaux Time” – a phrase
Caleb coined in response to my chronic lateness and inability to do
anything in a timely manner. My retort you could have figured out by
this time: “when I’m damn near ready” – a phrase often accompanied the
topic of Robichaux Time.
