Thank you Science. I have been looking for a way to consume my own waist to lower the grocery bill. Low and behold the U.S. Military has found a way.

         New Technology, if you want to call it that, will allow a U.S. service member to use dirty water or urine if need be to add to dehydrated meals. The liquid of choice will be filtered by thin sheets of plastic with gaps 0.5 nanometers in width to stop any and all bacteria, so only clean water will filter the water through and get to the food.

      "What about the smell? Does it get ride of the smell too, cause I'm not eating anything that smells like that." Airman First Class Kim Beth is first hearing about this, "I mean isn't it enough that I have to deal with the stresses of war, now I have this to cope with. War just started to suck a lot more."

Solders in Afghan Land are greeted by the president and a meal he hydrated himself.
      The U.S. Army Psychological Team comments on the possibilty of having to deal with a new type of stress. Currently the teams give service members that get a little loopy in the field from the stresses of war, "Three hots and a cot" a program that removes over stressed soldiers form the field for three days and are given hot food and a nice bed to sleep in. There is some treatment, plenty of therapy and a fresh dose of brain washing. After the three days are up, it is back to the field with you. "We don't know how we are going to handle solders that come in that may refuse to eat, this may spark a large distrust of the food in the Chow Hall." says PFC Shaun Moore, "I'm a little concerned my self. The way the Army is, they may just start emptying Porta Jons at the Chow Hall to conserve water. I'm sure they will see this as a great way to conserve our resources. All I know is when they tell me I can take a shower for longer than three min because of a healthier water supply, I'll start buying all my meals at the BX, in pre-sealed containers." "War just started to suck a lot more"
 The new MRE is designed to lighten the load that solders in the field must burden. A days supply of food with the dehydrated meals weighs 1/7th the amount that the solders currently carry with them. Many solders look forward to the lighter load. "We have enough to haul as it is. Now your telling me the load will get lighter, bring it on. I'm sure I'll be able to go that extra mile with ease now that I won't have so much food to carry. That is what this is about right? Making a better solder." SPC Michael Robert made his comments off the record.

      "The human body is 70% water," William Miller the spokes person for the new MRE technology, "Why waist the waist, our bodies are virtually an unlimited resource in the respect. It just doesn't make sense no to use it."

      A few medical reports from independent agencies note that the 0.5 nanometer gaps are not small enough to filter out urea, which in the long term causes kidney damage. The military will surly consider these warnings in the same respect as the warnings about the psychological side affects of Larum, the anti-malaria drug currently in use in Afghanistan and Iraq.

 

For a real article regarding this mater click here.

Caleb is currently avoiding all dehydrated food and drinking only from water that comes in a sealed bottle.

This artical does not refect the veiw of any one serving in the military. The names used are totaly made up except for Kim Beth, Kim is the made up part, I call that guy stuff like Kim and Sara becasue he has a last name that is a girls first name. He doesn't like me very much... but I digress, Anything that is like gonna get me in trouble, like i didn't do that, what ever you think I did, I did the oposite, oppasite, opposite. So just forget about me and go about what ever you were doing before you read this, and don't thing about yelling at me later, cause I'll just be laughing at you in my head. Have a nice day.